In August It Will Be So Hot

To add further to existing controversies over school calendars, now people are having heart palpitations over the early starting date of schools in some districts around the state. Hillsborough is one that starts somewhat early.

Today brought a breathless article from the Miami Herald about the tragedy of early start dates. Poor Sherry Sturner. She’s never received a good answer to why Dade County schools started on August 8th.

Gee, Sherry. What could possibly be the reason?
1. Starting the school in early August means the first semester is over before the Christmas holidays. Students take their fall semester exams before the break, rather than returning to school in January for a week and then taking exams after the holiday. Thus after the new year teachers can begin immediately in the next semester’s course of study instead of wasting two weeks with review and exams. It’s called efficiency.
2. Starting school in early August also means an extra three weeks to spend for FCAT prep. FCAT prep takes up the lion’s share of time in 3rd, 8th, and 10th grade classes, and starting earlier doesn’t move up the date of the test; it just gives you three more weeks to prepare. You can either spend three more weeks in intense preparation or, one would hope, spread out the preparation a little longer and cover more material rather than teaching to the test.

Oh, but August is so hot! Why send kids to school in the heat?

''It's so bloody hot out in August that the kids can't even play,'' said local genius and British impersonator Jennifer Kochman. Oh, so you’d rather keep your kids at home during the bloody hot month? To do what? Stay inside and play video games because it’s too bloody hot outside? If you have to keep them inside, you probably should keep them inside a school building learning, rather than keeping them inside at home all summer watching television and playing video games and drinking coke and contributing to the child obesity epidemic. Bloody hell, Jennifer.
In August it will be so hot, you will be a cooking pot,
Cooking soup, of course, why not?
Cooking once, cooking twice, cooking up a stupid scheme because you have too much damn time on your hands.

Of all the tyrannies in this world, school starting in early August is one of most minor. Far worse is to encourage the state to engage in the tyranny of ordering school districts when to start classes.