27 September 2005

Political Dumbth Report

A few notes of stupidity from political news today:

1. "Show me another 87-year-old man who's got the energy that I've got, and I'll eat your hat," says West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd as he announces his intention to seek a ninth term, or something like that. This sounds like a good bet; you always read about these 90-year-old marathoners and such. I guarantee there's an 87-year-old marathoner or triathlete somewhere in this country. I want to see Byrd eat a damn hat.

2. "Nothing is my fault!" exclaims disgraced former FEMA head and Arabian horse spokesman Mike Brown, in a speech to a Congressional panel. During his remarks, Brown noted that Louisiana, Mississippi, and New Orleans officials all dropped the ball and failed to do their jobs, blamed his superiors at the Department of Homeland Security for not coordinating efforts well enough, and announced the he thinks he did, "a pretty darn good job." Brown has been rehired as a consultant by FEMA to figure out what FEMA did wrong in the Katrina aftermath, but clearly Brown isn't the man for this job, either.

3. Virginia Democrats admit futility of challenging GOP Sen. George Allen. Today's WaPo notes that state Dems are trying to get Ben Affleck or John Grisham to run for Senate, because as we know celebrities are highly qualified for every job in the whole word by dint of being celebrities. I think Schwarzenegger has proven this point quite well, I think.



4 comments:

Ayzair said...

Jack LaLane turned 91 last week. Should we offer the senator a condiment to ease the way for that hat?

Unknown said...

Miracle Whip, of course! I think the bigger question now is what sort of hat it should be. Obvious choices include a sombrero or one of those chinese conical hats (older folks need their fiber), though I personally would like to see him eat a bowler.

scanime said...

"Brown has been rehired as a consultant by FEMA to figure out what FEMA did wrong in the Katrina aftermath..."

That's just being funny, right? You're not serious, are you?

Yet why do I think that such a thing is not only possible, but likely?

Unknown said...

Completely serious. Best thing about reporting on politics is you don't have to make stuff up. People are plenty sleazy and incompetent on their own, no embellishment required.