Ah, sweet irony. I guess it’s irony. It isn’t coincidence. Maybe it’s just snafu. Anyway, I learned today that this Friday morning I get to sit in an unairconditioned hangar in the Florida heat for four hours, to get a chance to listen to… Dick Cheney! Hooray! One of my least favorite public officials! I can hardly wait.
That’s what I get for being DNIF, though (that’s Duties-Not-Including-Flying for the unacronymed). The timeblock on the schedule just says “Rent-a-crowd,” usually an indication that you’re going to have to sit and listen to a dreadfully boring brief because they need a crowd for either A) cameras or B) the self-esteem of the briefer. I can assume in Cheney’s case that it isn’t B.
Now seems a highly appropriate time to point out this post I wrote a while back. It deals with GWB’s policy of not allowing dissenters into any of his “town hall meetings.” I posited at that point that, being a dissenter to most things this administration does, I should be exempted from the next visit by the prez or vp or similar official since I occasionally (in a non-official capacity, of course) say bad things about them. (Except Colin Powell; I never said anything bad about him. Or Norm Mineta.) Obviously I was mistaken.
But unlike the last presidential visit to MacDill, this is being done with rent-a-crowd; the whole base isn’t expected to turn out. So I’m wondering the point of this is. Will we be able to ask questions? This administration has classically had a problem with assuming that any military audience will necessarily be pro-Bush; it’s caused a few amusing exchanges when Rumsfeld travels overseas. Could this be an opportunity for an amusing exchange with Dick Cheney?
Since Cheney’s heart is as black as the furthest reaches of outer space, I don’t think it’s possible to get him rattled. Hence there would be no amusement value to asking a loaded question. But I suppose I will bring a notepad and a pencil and take notes.
I hope they aren’t going to expect me to cheer and clap like the crowds in the background of every Bush-Cheney visit to “the troops” or “the people.” I won’t do that. I’ll sit quietly; I’m perfectly willing to do that. But if they tell me I have to cheer and clap, I’ll ask them under what authority I have to do that. In uniform or in any official capacity, I’m not permitted to say anything negative about the pres, the vp, or any of a host of other administration officials. But I am not required to like them, or indeed to say anything positive about them. It’s right there in DOD regulations. Call it the Bambi rule—if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I’m perfectly happy with that. But cheering and clapping as if I actually respected or agreed with anything Cheney says? That’s crossing the line into coercion, and I don’t have to put up with that.
With any luck, if I’m to be forced to cheer and clap, I’ll manage to get myself sent away before the speech even begins. This would be good since I have a lot of work to do.
In any event, you can bet I’ll file a report Friday afternoon.
2 comments:
I like the loud, slow clap spaced about a second apart, always out of synch with the rest of the crowd. Almost at the pace of a sledge hammer striking iron. It has about the same attention grabbing power too. I also like to start it a little too soon or keep it going just a little too long. Really, it's much worse than not clapping at all.
So where's the follow up? Please tell me much mayhem was inflicted upon Dicky! Though from the standard AP shots on the wire yesterday, any potential coup must have failed.
Disturbingly, Dick Cheney has always reminded me of my dad -- the hairline (or lack thereof), the glasses, the somewhat snarling smile — though my dad's was much more smile than sneer and, well, my dad wasn't evil. It's the little things that count.
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