Tonight, why not host a Chappaquiddick Party? Invite several young, attractive people who have achieved great success in life by doing nothing more than trading on their name. Serve drinks and appetizers and talk in a hoity-toity New England accent. In honor of the senior Senator from Massachusetts, at around midnight, throw one of the girls into the swimming pool with a toy car. In honor of Mary Jo Kopechne, the girl he drowned in a case of involuntary manslaughter for which he was never punished, you should also help get the girl out of the swimming pool before she drowns.
This may be in bad taste, but a pool party would be cool tonight. Too bad I don't have one.
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