27 April 2007

Seven Trumpets

Remember a while back when I posted a picture of my trumpet plant with a giant white trumpet on it bigger than the plant itself? Cool, right?


Seven. Count them (click on the picture for the bigger version), seven trumpets. Look at how tiny this plant is! And it has seven flowers on it bigger than it is! Notice how the three older flowers have taken on a peachy hue, while the younger ones are all nice and white. I've been watching this plant all week--I took pictures on Tuesday of five trumpets, and yesterday of six. But this morning they were all open finally--although there are at least two more waiting to open, but they'll be several days yet. The best part of this is the light jasminey fragrance, which is especially strong in the evening, when you can sit on the porch and just let the aroma caress your nose. It's great.

Stage 5: Acceptance

I'm not going to finish this project this week. But I've accepted that fact, and the acceptance has made the going easier.

A neutral observer would likely point out that by Wednesday afternoon it was clear I wasn't going to finish. I didn't actually accept that myself until about eight-thirty Thursday morning, when I was still sitting in the waiting room for a 0800 appointment for my annual physical (which I did not schedule myself and was a bit peeved about). At that point, I decided I would probably not do anything on Thursday, and that there was thus no chance, none whatsoever, that I would finish cleaning/decluttering this week. And then I had a lot less stress.

Of course, a cynical observer would point out that there was never any realistic chance I would finish this task this week. I must have felt this way myself, since I wouldn't have asked for seven days of leave to do it if I thought I could do it in five. Oh well. I'll take a week in May and finish. Possibly the week after next, depends on how many other people will be in the office.

But... well, let's see. The living room and dining room and done and the kitchen is at least half done. Both bathrooms are done, although the shower room needs a good mopping out and I didn't clean that toilet (it's not that bad, though; I actually clean my toilets from time to time; I'm not disgusting, I tend to keep my house moderately clean. It's the clutter that's been the problem, because with all the clutter I was unable to maintain cleanliness). The kitchen is more than half done, I just need to go through the cabinets and get rid of excess stuff. Then maybe I can rip out the floor and redo the kitchen...

I moved everything out from along the back wall of the bedroom and sorted it into trash/give away/sell piles. I've completely gone through both dressers and about two-thirds of the closet (I'll get to the rest after lunch). I have one 13-gallon trash bag full of throw-aways. I have two such bags full of clothes to give away to the Salvation Army, plus a smaller bag of uniform items to take to the Airman's Attic. And I have two more bags full of clothes to sell on eBay or craigslist. This is roughly equal to the total quantity of clothes I am keeping. Really. And there are several things that have been set aside into a special part of the closet for consideration for another purge this summer.

I gotta tell you, it feels good. It doesn't feel great yet, but it feels good. It'll feel great once I get all the trash out of the house--right now there's one giant box full of trash, plus three more bags and a stack of smaller boxes, as well as several bags full of bags, all to be either thrown away or recycled (unless someone on craigslist claims the paper sacks), and that's taking up a lot of space. I can get rid of the donation items on Saturday and Monday, and I plan to start selling stuff as soon as there's enough floor space available to take pictures--hopefully this afternoon, although I have to do about seven loads of laundry since most of it was sitting in boxes and is dusty and filthy.

The desk is hideous, an unapproachable and unforgiveable rat's nest. It's also where I've been throwing stuff I don't know what to do with. It will take two or three days to get through all of it. I was afraid of that from the start, and I've been putting it off. I knew the closet and dressers wouldn't be fun, either, but I was at least looking forward to those; the desk... I'd like to pay somebody to come clean off my desk. Not that I'm unwilling to part with the stuff that's on it; no, it's just that, I mean, damn, it's filthy. There's so much dust on that desk I could burn it for energy and power the entire house for two days. Hmm, a dust-to-energy converter. What an intriguing concept.

Still, although the job is not done, I've definitely made measurable progress. Once stuff is moved out of the house I can really clean, get in and clean the baseboards and stuff. And move furniture around in the bedroom. And maybe redo the kitchen. Hmm... I think I'm starting to see why I haven't done this before.

25 April 2007

Progress

A bit of it, anyway.

Yesterday afternoon I cleaned the guest bath entirely and mopped the floor in the main bath, and also cleaned out half the kitchen: I moved everything out of the kitchen into the dining room, took down the bifold doors enclosing my tiny excuse for a pantry, folded up and packed away six full paper grocery sacks full of... well, paper grocery sacks (six!), removed and cleaned/packed up cat related items for distribution to cat owners, swept and mopped the entirety of the kitchen floor (first time in three years I've done the whole floor area!), dusted and cleaned off the table, moved stuff back into the kitchen in an organized manner, set up half the bifold doors as a screen for the pantry, dumped two bags of recycling and two of trash, and took the second set of bifold doors out to the dumpster where I broke them into pieces so the city would take them away. I managed to do all this between three and six-thirty, and that included a forty-minute chat with the next door neighbor (we don't talk often enough).

Later, as I was setting up the other set of doors as the screen, I thought I really shouldn't have got rid of the first set of bifolds, as they were a quality item and I could have given them away to somebody on craigslist. Oh well. I still have one set to give away. Good quality item, well constructed, painted white. About seven feet tall, 18" doors. Needs a good solid dusting and not the half-assed job I did yesterday but they'd make a fine screen if anybody needs them.

I then proceeded not to sleep a wink all night. I don't know what is wrong, but something clearly is. I was up until two, exhausted but not tired, lying in bed, and then I got up and came out to the living room and played with Google Earth for a while. Smittygirl got up somewhat later, and we talked for a while about why we can't both seem to get a decent night's sleep at the same time. She managed to get back to bed. I didn't even try. But I did manage to do a backlog of dishes and pack a lunch for Smittygirl to take to work.

Now, in an hour and change this morning I've entirely cleaned out the sink area of the bathroom. I threw away an entire garbage bag full of expired medications, dirty rags, useless hair products, and ancient toiletries of all kinds. There were exactly 360 Christmas lights under the sink, along with dozens of packets of replacement bulbs and fuses. Why? I also found some seriously ugly old pottery down there I really don't know what to do with. I'll probably post it on Etsy.com for fifty cents a pop and see what sells.

That means the only thing between me and the hideous abomination that is the back wall of my bedroom is... this blog. So I should sign off now. I have photos of trumpet plants to show you, so maybe I'll get another break around lunchtime. Despite the lack of sleep, things seem to be going well.

24 April 2007

Timing is Everything

Or nothing...

I took a week off from work this week. My house has become inexcusably cluttered, along with parts of my life. My closet overfloweth. My kitchen has been reduced to perhaps three-fifths its actual size. The entire back wall of my bedroom is a clutter of boxed and bagged things I haven't looked at in a year, things I probably meant to take to the trash or Goodwill or something in the past but at this point it's just taking up space. Lots of space. I have to keep my underwear and socks on top of the dryer because they don't fit in any drawers. I have cable and phone bills from 2003. I have a copy of the lease from the house I rented in Del Rio, Texas. No portion of my desk is remotely usable.

I have been planning to reduce this clutter for some time. I was thinking about it while in Djibouti. But it's a big job, too big for a weekend, or even a couple of weekends. I had hoped to take seven workdays off--this week, plus next Monday and Tuesday--but in order to do that I also had to take leave on Saturday and Sunday, despite the fact that I'm going to be in Tampa the entire time. So I decided to just take the week. It won't be enough time.

Yesterday I managed to clean and declutter most of the living and dining rooms. There's still clutter, mainly in the form of CDs and books (I'm planning to sell things I never listen to/read) and the stupid cable modem that I need to just go ahead and buy a wireless router for, but it's a vast improvement.

And now I'm sick.
How? Why? I don't get it. Smittygirl had a touch of something Sunday and yesterday and we've both been sneezing up a storm because of some late-season allergies (last gasp of spring, I suppose). I may have caught what she had, but who knows? Right now mainly my throat just hurts. A lot. It hurt so much I couldn't sleep. I didn't get to sleep until after four this morning... and of course I was up by eight. I had hoped to clean and declutter the kitchen and bathrooms today... but I can tell you right now that's not going to happen. I'm going to clean the bathrooms. The kitchen is a bigger job than I'd expected. I'll start on it, but there's just so much damned stuff in there. The bedroom and closet I'm not even ready to look at.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. Yesterday, just from the living and dining rooms (the two cleanest/least cluttered rooms), I threw out four full bags of trash and old junk and moved another boxfull of junk into the bedroom for further sorting later this week. Today if I get to the kitchen, I know at a minimum I'm going to be throwing out a set of bifold doors, a gigantic bag of grocery sacks (plastic and paper, they're going to Publix for recycling), and a few ancient containers of protein and other stuff--and that's assuming I don't start going through the cupboards. Do I need 37 coffee mugs? I don't even drink coffee!

Those of you who've visited my house in the past can vouch for the unnecessarily large quantity of old junk therein. I've been hoping to follow the Thoreauvian imperative, the Quaker testimony of simplicity, the Freecycle way. Whether I manage to get it done this week or not, I hope that the next time folks come down to visit, there'll be a bit more breathing space here, and a bit more space in my mind as well. We'll see.

19 April 2007

The Great Birthday Surprise

The anniversary of Smitty's birth occurred two weekends ago. Smitty is not particularly given over to celebrating the fact that he is aging, insofar as it makes him think about the fact that the last two years have been an utter waste, career-wise, and he feels he's getting too old to right some of the wrongs he committed in the past (like not changing majors in college, studying political science, joining the military, those sorts of things). Smitty doesn't like thinking about things like that, and he didn't want to celebrate his birthday this year.

But Smittygirl says a birthday is a good reason to celebrate. It's not so much a commemoration of age as it is an excuse to have a party and take a load off for a while and do something fun. Hard to disagree with her there. To that end she planned a surprise for me. I kept bugging her all week to tell me, but as soon as she was about to I'd cut her off and say I didn't want to know. Of course this was insanely annoying, which wasn't the point, although it was kind of fun.

I knew we were going out of town, but I also knew it couldn't be that far since neither of us was taking any vacation. Smittygirl resisted until we were in the car and eastbound on I-4 to tell me we were going to Orlando. There are all kinds of fun things to do there. We checked into the Sheraton hotel, the round one you see from the interstate when you're passing by Universal Studios. Pretty cool hotel. Once we checked in she told me we were going to Epcot. Yaay!

Epcot has always been my favorite of the Disney parks (although I've never been to either of their water parks or the Animal Kingdom (Animal Kingdom doesn't interest me; I'd rather go to a zoo)). Lots of people like to make fun of Epcot: The Simpsons, P.J. O'Rourke, Dave Barry… but they're missing the point. O'Rourke pointed out, when he went in the late 1980s, that all the rides were fifteen or more years out of date and not very interesting anyway. Dave Barry said much the same thing. The Simpsons called the park boring. Maybe… or maybe they just didn't want to have any fun in the first place. That's what I think.

I love Epcot. It was the perfect birthday celebration. And what timing! It was the flower and garden show... or something... anyway, they had all kinds of special plantings, plant and flower displays, and even gardening shops, including a guy who was selling plumeria sticks (same thing as frangipani). I bought a pink one. I've planted it on the porch in cactus mix, which is what the instructions said, so we'll see what happens.

What a great day we had. They've changed The Living Seas into a Finding-Nemo themed ride, which is just fine because the aquarium hasn't changed and that's half the reason to go there. The land has a new ride, called Soarin'--but we didn't ride it because the wait was never less than 100 minutes. But now that Disney does the whole Fastpass thing, if you really wanted to ride it you could just go there in the morning and get your fastpass and go back whenever you wanted.

We spent most of our day wandering, only did a few rides. Epcot rides aren't exactly the thrill-ride type of thing, but we had to do the Land so we could steal ideas for our own gardens. And of course we had to play in the jumping fountains! You can't pass that up.

There's a new area, Innovations or some such, with several little science-themed play areas. It would be totally awesome for kids. They had build-your-own-molecule parts. I made a buckyball.

The best part was lunch! Which we had at after two-thirty so it was more of a linner. But anyway. We went to Morocco. Yaay, Morocco! What foresight they had putting Morocco in Epcot. It's the best restaurant there, and even better because they have bellydancers. And I even got a special birthday dessert, complete with candle and 'Happy Birthday' sung in English and Arabic by two waiters and the bellydancer. Way cool. (The camera was acting up or we'd have pictures.)

So it was a great way to celebrate the un-celebratable. Getting older isn't so bad. Wait, yes it is. But it's still an okay excuse to party.

Smitty the Ungrateful

Yesterday at work Smittygirl met someone who was full of bluster about military service, and insisted that anyone who left the service before their commitment was up was… well, I don't know what terminology he might have used but at any rate he thought such people were bad people. Insofar as I am trying to do precisely that, Smittygirl was understandably a bit annoyed.

I was thinking about this today at work (hard to avoid, really). And I considered that there are going to be people out there who'll always say I left before I'd served my time, I cheated the service, and so forth and so on. And then I thought about the fact that in my opinion a contract works both ways and since I'm no longer doing the job for which I signed the contract, I don't see the thing as valid in the first place. But would people like Smittygirl's client understand that? Probably not.

And then I thought, do I need to try to convince people like that of my position? Nah. After all, such people are also very likely die-hard conservative republican Bush voters, and I don't agree with people like that on almost anything. Do I need to try to sway them? Nah. I don't care. I'm learning not to wrap my ego up in my beliefs (something most people need to learn), and the truth is, if there are people in the world who think I'm a bad person for trying to get out from under my service commitment (which, I might add, is assuredly much longer than the commitments such people ever might have signed themselves), let them think that. I don't need to be loved by everyone, and if someone wants to believe a war veteran with six years' service is a bad person for not giving another six… er, well, who precisely is going to pay them any mind? Certainly not me.

Asparagus

Ah, asparagus. It's coming into season now and I always enjoy it. But how best to cook it? Of course you can boil it or steam it, but I prefer it (and most vegetables) sautéed. But how to do that?

I've ruined a good bit of asparagus in my time trying to sauté it properly. Usually I just sauté my vegetables in butter with a drop or two of lemon juice or perhaps a teaspoon of wine. Last night Smittygirl suggested another way to do it. She can't remember where she read it, but the asparagus was so good I have to share so other people can try it.

I made enough asparagus for two people, about 12 spears. I use a nonstick pan but I doubt that matters. I put the pan over medium heat and added about a tablespoon and a half of butter (eyeball measurement). Once the butter was getting melty I added two tablespoons of water (which I actually measured). Once that was warm, I added the asparagus. I cut each spear in half. Once things were sizzling I added about a quarter teaspoon of extra butter for good measure, and a few drops of lemon juice, as well as some salt and pepper. Then I put the lid on the pot. I left the lid on for a little less than ten minutes, taking it off from time to time to stir.

Mmm-mm! It was gu-uud, let me tell you; perfectly done, not too crunchy but not too soft, and very tasty. I highly recommend it.

18 April 2007

People are Strange

It's been a bit of a rough go this week, hasn't it? I thought I'd start off with something light.

Back in 1970, The Doors played a concert in Miami. During said concert, Jim Morrison is said to have been drunk. He certainly took his shirt off and waved it around, and cursed about a great many things--though not directly at the audience. Morrison was arrested and charged with obscenity and indecent exposure; the cops said he wiggled his jimmy at the audience, though there's no evidence whatsoever to verify that.

Morrison was a Florida native, and many fans believe the arrest and conviction was unwarranted (or completely bogus, or done purely out of dislike). And evidently, they have a receptive audience in our new governor, Charlie Crist. It seems Charlie is mulling the idea of pardoning Jim Morrison for taking his shirt off in public and saying things you can hear any night of the week on cable. The article is actually kind of interesting. Charlie seems to be sort of an intense guy. I like him.

03 April 2007

Lost Cosmonaut

Daniel Kalder's Lost Cosmonaut is funny and... weird. A little weird. Not too much. As travel writing goes, it's certainly unique. You can read a dozen travel books about Tuscany or the French countryside or Ireland. But there is only one travel book about Udmurtia, or Mari-El, or Kalmykia. This is that book. Certainly you aren't burning to travel to Udmurtia. If you know where Udmurtia is on a map, you are one of a very few people. If you even know what country it's in you're doing better 99%+ of the population of the world. I imagine some Russians are unaware of Udmurtia's existence. Hell, some Americans think Idaho is a job description, so I can only imagine what Russians must think of a place like Kalmykia.

The book is divided into four parts. In the first, Kalder travels at the behest of a friend to Tatarstan, at the eastern edge of European Russia, and discovers an utterly unknown place--unknown to most Europeans (or any Westerners)--with significant cultural development all its own that none of us have ever heard of. I'm considering trying to find a recording of music by one of the "18 Great Tatars" Kalder lists in his book, but he says not to bother--you can't find it. It's not there. This is a country that has been utterly lost to the West--and it's in our backyard.

Next Kalder convinced his travelling partners to accompany him to Kalmykia, a province at the edge of European Russia. The Kalmyks are Turks--the name means "left behind" or some such, as this is the portion of a Turkic tribe expelled from this part of Russia 200 years ago who somehow managed not to leave. It's a country with half the population of Baltimore, Maryland, spread out over a wasteland larger than Texas. Kalder wanted to go see nothing--and that's about all there was. Kalmykia is nominally Buddhist, the only such country in Europe, and the leader of the place is a bit of a wackjob who built an entire (vacant) city in the scrub dedicated to chess. Weird stuff.

In the third and fourth parts of the book Kalder traveled alone, first to Mari-El, the only officially pagan area in Europe (though only half the residents are actually Mari, and maybe half of them actually practice the local religion) and apparently a hotbed of the Russian Wives By Mail industry; and then to Udmurtia, a province named after a people who've been all but subsumed by the Russian culture that surrounds them. Both of these sections started off somewhat slow--in part because Kalder is travelling alone, in part because they start off the same way as the previous two. The fourth section, which by the end was perhaps my favorite, started VERY slow--a fact Kalder acknowledges in a section detailing his attempt to spend the entire trip in his hotel room (he doesn't succeed).

By the latter sections of the book, though, Kalder admits that he had already decided he was working on a book--he wasn't just travelling for the sake of it. Although this hurts the illusion a bit--I wanted to believe he was just visiting these places because he was an eccentric--the knowledge forced Kalder's hand a bit, so that he had to actually get out of the hotel room, set a goal, find something new, figure out what he was looking for in these places. It gave form to his narrative, and though he book would have rather different had it been written without this form (but just by an eccentric Scotsman with a taste for cold weather and poor countries), in the end it made the book feel more whole.

The section on Udmurtia is particularly interesting, as here is a place with a long history and its own culture and language, that has been completely absorbed by Russia. 200 years ago such a place would swiftly lose that language and culture and it's history would have been rewritten, but in the modern era you can't just wipe a culture off the face of the map. Yet this is what's happening--and it's the Udmurt who are allowing it to go on. Kalder makes some interesting points: there may be 1000 years of Udmurt history, but nobody--literally--knows what it is anymore; the Udmurt language was so frighteningly complex that, given the chance to speak Russian instead (itself a complex and difficult language) today's Udmurt leap at the chance; Udmurt cultural traditions in many cases were similar enough to--and sometimes were added to--Russian culture that the distinctions have mostly blended into nothingness. This is a country that by rights should be totally assimilated into the Russian mass, yet that will never be allowed to happen. There will always be someone working to preserve the language, guessing at what the cultural traditions once were, and there probably never be anyone to care. It's kind of sad.

The other sections are not so sad, but they are melancholy in their own way. Kalder is a good guide to such places. He doesn't really laugh at them, which would get tiresome (the dust-jacket copy calls him a "Bill Bryson with Tourette's," which is an insult to both Kalder and to Tourette's patients, and Kalder is in no way as cynical or elitist as Bryson can be), but he does keep a sense of humor about him and about the places he's visited. They're not very nice, after all.

This is genuine travel writing, unlike The Sex Lives of Cannibals or Together Alone, so I can easily say it's the best travel writing I've read all year. I just don't want to compare it to the other two; all three are vastly entertaining and plenty diversionary.

Lost Cosmonaut

Daniel Kalder's Lost Cosmonaut is funny and... weird. A little weird. Not too much. As travel writing goes, it's certainly unique. You can read a dozen travel books about Tuscany or the French countryside or Ireland. But there is only one travel book about Udmurtia, or Mari-El, or Kalmykia. This is that book. Certainly you aren't burning to travel to Udmurtia. If you know where Udmurtia is on a map, you are one of a very few people. If you even know what country it's in you're doing better 99%+ of the population of the world. I imagine some Russians are unaware of Udmurtia's existence. Hell, some Americans think Idaho is a job description, so I can only imagine what Russians must think of a place like Kalmykia.

The book is divided into four parts. In the first, Kalder travels at the behest of a friend to Tatarstan, at the eastern edge of European Russia, and discovers an utterly unknown place--unknown to most Europeans (or any Westerners)--with significant cultural development all its own that none of us have ever heard of. I'm considering trying to find a recording of music by one of the "18 Great Tatars" Kalder lists in his book, but he says not to bother--you can't find it. It's not there. This is a country that has been utterly lost to the West--and it's in our backyard.

Next Kalder convinced his travelling partners to accompany him to Kalmykia, a province at the edge of European Russia. The Kalmyks are Turks--the name means "left behind" or some such, as this is the portion of a Turkic tribe expelled from this part of Russia 200 years ago who somehow managed not to leave. It's a country with half the population of Baltimore, Maryland, spread out over a wasteland larger than Texas. Kalder wanted to go see nothing--and that's about all there was. Kalmykia is nominally Buddhist, the only such country in Europe, and the leader of the place is a bit of a wackjob who built an entire (vacant) city in the scrub dedicated to chess. Weird stuff.

In the third and fourth parts of the book Kalder traveled alone, first to Mari-El, the only officially pagan area in Europe (though only half the residents are actually Mari, and maybe half of them actually practice the local religion) and apparently a hotbed of the Russian Wives By Mail industry; and then to Udmurtia, a province named after a people who've been all but subsumed by the Russian culture that surrounds them. Both of these sections started off somewhat slow--in part because Kalder is travelling alone, in part because they start off the same way as the previous two. The fourth section, which by the end was perhaps my favorite, started VERY slow--a fact Kalder acknowledges in a section detailing his attempt to spend the entire trip in his hotel room (he doesn't succeed).

By the latter sections of the book, though, Kalder admits that he had already decided he was working on a book--he wasn't just travelling for the sake of it. Although this hurts the illusion a bit--I wanted to believe he was just visiting these places because he was an eccentric--the knowledge forced Kalder's hand a bit, so that he had to actually get out of the hotel room, set a goal, find something new, figure out what he was looking for in these places. It gave form to his narrative, and though he book would have rather different had it been written without this form (but just by an eccentric Scotsman with a taste for cold weather and poor countries), in the end it made the book feel more whole.

The section on Udmurtia is particularly interesting, as here is a place with a long history and its own culture and language, that has been completely absorbed by Russia. 200 years ago such a place would swiftly lose that language and culture and it's history would have been rewritten, but in the modern era you can't just wipe a culture off the face of the map. Yet this is what's happening--and it's the Udmurt who are allowing it to go on. Kalder makes some interesting points: there may be 1000 years of Udmurt history, but nobody--literally--knows what it is anymore; the Udmurt language was so frighteningly complex that, given the chance to speak Russian instead (itself a complex and difficult language) today's Udmurt leap at the chance; Udmurt cultural traditions in many cases were similar enough to--and sometimes were added to--Russian culture that the distinctions have mostly blended into nothingness. This is a country that by rights should be totally assimilated into the Russian mass, yet that will never be allowed to happen. There will always be someone working to preserve the language, guessing at what the cultural traditions once were, and there probably never be anyone to care. It's kind of sad.

The other sections are not so sad, but they are melancholy in their own way. Kalder is a good guide to such places. He doesn't really laugh at them, which would get tiresome (the dust-jacket copy calls him a "Bill Bryson with Tourette's," which is an insult to both Kalder and to Tourette's patients, and Kalder is in no way as cynical or elitist as Bryson can be), but he does keep a sense of humor about him and about the places he's visited. They're not very nice, after all.

This is genuine travel writing, unlike The Sex Lives of Cannibals or Together Alone, so I can easily say it's the best travel writing I've read all year. I just don't want to compare it to the other two; all three are vastly entertaining and plenty diversionary.

Together Alone

Oh good, a book I've finished somewhat recently.
Together Alone is a fascinating book, and although it's very hard to find (you could always borrow my copy, of course) it is certainly worth looking for. Ron Falconer, the author, spent several years wandering about the South Pacific in his own handbuilt boat, and, together with his wife and two children (and cat and dog) decided to move to a tiny uninhabited island far outside the usual sea lanes. And he actually did it. This is the story.

The island was Caroline, in the far southeastern corner of Kiribati--the very same Kiribati J. Maarten Troost wrote about in the far funnier (but entirely different) The Sex Lives of Cannibals. But this is a far different place from the Tarawa atoll Troost and his wife called home. Caroline supported small populations in the 19th and early 20th Centuries, but by the time the Falconers arrived at the atoll in 1987 it had not seen human habitation for almost 50 years.

Into this paradise the Falconers brought only those things they needed to survive, and they managed to do so for nearly four years. During that time they relied upon annual trips to French Polynesia and occasional visits from passing yachters for whatever they couldn't produce themselves. Over the years they built a fully-functioning settlement.

Falconer's goal was never to achieve total self-sufficiency. It was to achieve isolation. He went there to think big thoughts about society and man's place in the world. Whether he found what he was looking for you can never be sure. Falconer digresses into introspection only occasionally, usually in the form of a conversation with his wife (conversations I assume are mostly made-up and intended just to get the point across), and although you can tell he's doing a lot of thinking about man's impact on the world, for whatever reason he leaves a lot of his thinking off the pages of the book. Perhaps he prefers it that way.

Smittygirl read the book before I did (or at any rate read it after I'd read about 60 pages) and occasionally had to put the thing down and read something else out of frustration with Falconer's occasional self-reverence. Yes, that's the word I was looking for--not self-reference. Falconer does seem to think he was on the verge of--or perhaps right in the thick of--creating a new way of life for all humanity, and he certainly has a bit of an ego. I didn't find it as annoying as she did but then I was also expecting it.

The book is written in the present tense, which I found a bit jarring at times given that the thing wasn't published until 2004, thirteen years after the family left the island.

The Falconers wanted to stay on Caroline as caretakers, but they were evicted by the Kiribati government at the behest of a new leaseholder who wanted to build a casino and other things on the island. Falconer's description of the end of their idyll is sometimes a bit wrenching; of course Falconer may make the family out to be better than they were (it's his book after all), but certainly it seems hard to imagine the family as "undesirables," especially on an otherwise uninhabited island. Given that the leaseholder's plans for development never took off it seems especially unjust that the Falconers were forced to leave.

So the ending's a bit of a downer. Bummer. It's still a really great read. Who hasn't dreamed of running away to some deserted isle to survive by your wits for a while? Well, okay, but who hasn't dreamed of just getting away from it all for a while, getting back to where what matters is a roof and enough to eat and beyond that you're free to do as you please? Ron Falconer and his family actually did that. Together Alone is definitely worth a read.

Together Alone

Oh good, a book I've finished somewhat recently.
Together Alone is a fascinating book, and although it's very hard to find (you could always borrow my copy, of course) it is certainly worth looking for. Ron Falconer, the author, spent several years wandering about the South Pacific in his own handbuilt boat, and, together with his wife and two children (and cat and dog) decided to move to a tiny uninhabited island far outside the usual sea lanes. And he actually did it. This is the story.

The island was Caroline, in the far southeastern corner of Kiribati--the very same Kiribati J. Maarten Troost wrote about in the far funnier (but entirely different) The Sex Lives of Cannibals. But this is a far different place from the Tarawa atoll Troost and his wife called home. Caroline supported small populations in the 19th and early 20th Centuries, but by the time the Falconers arrived at the atoll in 1987 it had not seen human habitation for almost 50 years.

Into this paradise the Falconers brought only those things they needed to survive, and they managed to do so for nearly four years. During that time they relied upon annual trips to French Polynesia and occasional visits from passing yachters for whatever they couldn't produce themselves. Over the years they built a fully-functioning settlement.

Falconer's goal was never to achieve total self-sufficiency. It was to achieve isolation. He went there to think big thoughts about society and man's place in the world. Whether he found what he was looking for you can never be sure. Falconer digresses into introspection only occasionally, usually in the form of a conversation with his wife (conversations I assume are mostly made-up and intended just to get the point across), and although you can tell he's doing a lot of thinking about man's impact on the world, for whatever reason he leaves a lot of his thinking off the pages of the book. Perhaps he prefers it that way.

Smittygirl read the book before I did (or at any rate read it after I'd read about 60 pages) and occasionally had to put the thing down and read something else out of frustration with Falconer's occasional self-reverence. Yes, that's the word I was looking for--not self-reference. Falconer does seem to think he was on the verge of--or perhaps right in the thick of--creating a new way of life for all humanity, and he certainly has a bit of an ego. I didn't find it as annoying as she did but then I was also expecting it.

The book is written in the present tense, which I found a bit jarring at times given that the thing wasn't published until 2004, thirteen years after the family left the island.

The Falconers wanted to stay on Caroline as caretakers, but they were evicted by the Kiribati government at the behest of a new leaseholder who wanted to build a casino and other things on the island. Falconer's description of the end of their idyll is sometimes a bit wrenching; of course Falconer may make the family out to be better than they were (it's his book after all), but certainly it seems hard to imagine the family as "undesirables," especially on an otherwise uninhabited island. Given that the leaseholder's plans for development never took off it seems especially unjust that the Falconers were forced to leave.

So the ending's a bit of a downer. Bummer. It's still a really great read. Who hasn't dreamed of running away to some deserted isle to survive by your wits for a while? Well, okay, but who hasn't dreamed of just getting away from it all for a while, getting back to where what matters is a roof and enough to eat and beyond that you're free to do as you please? Ron Falconer and his family actually did that. Together Alone is definitely worth a read.

02 April 2007

Notes From a Small Island

Bill Bryson's Notes From a Small Island was voted the best book about Britain by the British themselves in a poll in The Guardian or some such several years ago. It says so on the book jacket somewhere but it's all the way on the other side of the room and I don't want to get up.

Bryson lived in England for fifteen or twenty years (that's also on the book jacket), but this book was written in the weeks before he departed the country to return to the United States. He went across to the continent, then hopped a ferry and returned to England through Dover, just as he had first come to England year previously. He travelled across the country without benefit of a car, which is fairly interesting--partly because it colors the narrative and partly because no one in their right mind would try such a thing in the United States.

There's not a lot to say. It's a great book for the flavor of the English countryside, but lately I find Bryson is sometimes so sarcastic ("wry" in the language of dust-jacket copy writers) that I get the feeling he doesn't enjoy anything at all, really. This wasn't so noticeable in A Walk in the Woods but it was terrible in The Lost Continent. To my surprise this book is at times rather closer to Lost Continent than I'd have hoped.

Which is not to say it's bad. After all, it was as I said voted the best book about Britain by the British (according to that wry dust-jacket copy, or something; really, I should just get up and go get the book but I absolutely refuse to do so at this point), and if for no other reason it's clearly worth a read. It is funny and enjoyable, and Bryson's description of the three-hour film This is Cinerama that he saw in Bradford is enough to make me want to book a flight right now. Well, almost.

Notes From a Small Island

Bill Bryson's Notes From a Small Island was voted the best book about Britain by the British themselves in a poll in The Guardian or some such several years ago. It says so on the book jacket somewhere but it's all the way on the other side of the room and I don't want to get up.

Bryson lived in England for fifteen or twenty years (that's also on the book jacket), but this book was written in the weeks before he departed the country to return to the United States. He went across to the continent, then hopped a ferry and returned to England through Dover, just as he had first come to England year previously. He travelled across the country without benefit of a car, which is fairly interesting--partly because it colors the narrative and partly because no one in their right mind would try such a thing in the United States.

There's not a lot to say. It's a great book for the flavor of the English countryside, but lately I find Bryson is sometimes so sarcastic ("wry" in the language of dust-jacket copy writers) that I get the feeling he doesn't enjoy anything at all, really. This wasn't so noticeable in A Walk in the Woods but it was terrible in The Lost Continent. To my surprise this book is at times rather closer to Lost Continent than I'd have hoped.

Which is not to say it's bad. After all, it was as I said voted the best book about Britain by the British (according to that wry dust-jacket copy, or something; really, I should just get up and go get the book but I absolutely refuse to do so at this point), and if for no other reason it's clearly worth a read. It is funny and enjoyable, and Bryson's description of the three-hour film This is Cinerama that he saw in Bradford is enough to make me want to book a flight right now. Well, almost.

The Sex Lives of Cannibals

J. Maarten Troost's The Sex Lives of Cannibals includes little to no information whatsoever regarding cannibal sex, which is almost certainly a good thing.

Mr. Troost was a young over-educated politically-minded Washingtonian with no real plan for life and no desire to do what he'd been educated to do. Huh. Sorta familiar, really. His girlfriend was given the chance to travel to the Pacific island nation of Kiribati, to do... well, it doesn't really matter. Kiribati is in the middle of the ocean. There's nothing around Kiribati except other bits of Kiribati. And none of the bits have anything interesting going on. Mr. Troost notes that it just may be the worst place on Earth.

I finished this book almost three months ago. It was a laugh riot. Sometimes just the chapter titles are enough to make you laugh out loud. If you're going to read one book about being isolated in the South Pacific this year... well, actually, I read two, and they were both pretty good. This one will definitely give you the bigger laughs. Like all travel writing (this is more adventure--or perhaps lack of adventure--than travel) Troost has a little trouble in the final act, but it doesn't diminish the fun. This is definitely worth picking up.

The Sex Lives of Cannibals

J. Maarten Troost's The Sex Lives of Cannibals includes little to no information whatsoever regarding cannibal sex, which is almost certainly a good thing.

Mr. Troost was a young over-educated politically-minded Washingtonian with no real plan for life and no desire to do what he'd been educated to do. Huh. Sorta familiar, really. His girlfriend was given the chance to travel to the Pacific island nation of Kiribati, to do... well, it doesn't really matter. Kiribati is in the middle of the ocean. There's nothing around Kiribati except other bits of Kiribati. And none of the bits have anything interesting going on. Mr. Troost notes that it just may be the worst place on Earth.

I finished this book almost three months ago. It was a laugh riot. Sometimes just the chapter titles are enough to make you laugh out loud. If you're going to read one book about being isolated in the South Pacific this year... well, actually, I read two, and they were both pretty good. This one will definitely give you the bigger laughs. Like all travel writing (this is more adventure--or perhaps lack of adventure--than travel) Troost has a little trouble in the final act, but it doesn't diminish the fun. This is definitely worth picking up.